The Journey: Begins August 09

View Like The Wind in a larger map

The Last Dance

Here I am sprawled across the hotel bed, feeling like Carrie Bradshaw in Paris...except with a huge mosquito bite on the back of my leg! attractive!
In a few hours I will be making my way to Hong Kong International Airport where I will take the 4 hour flight to Tokyo, Japan.
I still have yet to pack, I have just been trying to enjoy to the fullest what Hong Kong has all been about; Shopping and Friends!
I couldn't ask for a nicer last day, I picked up my bike from the storage unit and had a delicious lunch of Japanese tonkatsu (yeah I'm in HK but I cant resist) and a bit shopping, bagging myself a cute gray waistcoat and a little black vest. Well I needed a look for later as I would be meeting up with friends for a bit of a farewell shindig; also the following day is a public holiday which means even more partying. We had a yummy meal on the street around a wobbly table in front of a construction sight with a parked up truck to the side, was very me! We ate things like fried squid cakes and fried oyster cake and gradually drank a few glasses of beer.
after we hopped over from Causeway Bay to Wanchai where Claris knew a band that was playing a a live venue. Was A bit like being in the Vic in Swindon except the talent was much improved... i.e. men not music!
It was fun to linger around tapping my feet and nodding my head, while the cute, long haired, glasses wearing and bangle appreciating guy; jumped excitably to the band. All was good until the short girl next to me in some rented 60,s costume made eye contact with me, her mouth wide open with a look of confusing and surprise. I wonder if she knew me or something, but no..after a long pause and after finally moving on from her gormless expression she spoke the words "Your a Man!"
Excuse me!
Yes, she was amazed that I was actually a 'man' I even had my hair tied up at this point, well i took it down to show her how much more manly I can be! haha. I did make a jibe back but its not really appropriate here. Wally told me I should have said ' Oh and you look like a man' but the moment had passed. After this, she kept hovering around me like a little groupie of a drag queen. She approached me again and apologized... I said to her "Why do you need to tell me" " If I thought you look like a man, I'm not going to come up to you and say YOUR A WOMAN?" "It is rude, and you were rude"
I did feel a bit pissed off from it actually, not that there is anything wrong in looking like a woman, but this kind of thing has happened to me about 4 times in HK; the last time would have been at high school where the kids would bully me about being different. But seriously I'm an adult now, and adults should keep there opinions to themselves if it may offend someone.

OK seriously I have 40 Min's to pack and shower, I could write more as the story of last night is far from over. Will fill you in soon.

farewell Hong Kong
I'm off to Tokyo!

Whatever

It is a gloomy afternoon in Hong Kong. I have been ill the past few days, but finally feeling better. Still my energy is pretty low, but found enough last night to attend a little indie party with Mai, was fun to dance carelessly without the glares of gay boys. I only stayed a few hours but was nice to see a different scene here in Hong Kong.

You may be wondering how the fashion show went... well I can tell you that due to the rudeness of the people involved, I was... removed from the position! yes I was given the boot from the show! the first time in my modeling history. I was quite surprised to say the least, as they played a very fake game with me. Buttering me up for a cheap price. Even after standing up for myself and making it clear that the price was not high enough, they agreed and promised me an increase while also using guilt as a tool to lower the price of my requested wages. I was told the students had already altered the clothes to fit my body, so of course I would have done the show anyway. So all was fine, we had agreed on the price, and I was told again and again that she would try to get more for me. Well the day of the rehearsal I received a text message from the woman, basically saying that the budget cant accommodate me, so no need to take part. Not even a phone call!

I thought, you fucking bitch! haha I have never been treated with such disrespect at work. I wasn't too upset as I thought it was all a farcical to begin with but really, people can be so rude.
Even she was so pleasant to me on the phone leading up to this point, and then I heard from the guy that got me the job that she was so angry with me. So basically two faced cow. In the end I thought whatever, it could have been OK to take part, but its just one job and it wont effect anything, its just a student show in Hong Kong, hardly a fashion capitol.


I'm trying to think what good things I actually got from Hong Kong, a place that held so many good memories for me and my ex. Well it is all about the people in the end, and I have made some really good friends, as I keep saying. But I don't feel the connection like before, Those special times in the past are long over. Now I'm facing the reality of Hong Kong.

I will be in Tokyo from Wednesday, and I cant tell you how happy I will feel, to be back where I call home. I just want to settle down there now, I feel I'm ready for that but I know it will take some time. I need to think long term, how can I stay there realistically for years on end. Time to get serious and make those steps to achieve this goal.

Days of Being Wild

Oh it has been a while. Indeed I have not felt like updating my blog recently, maybe because I have started to enjoy my time here, thanks to Wally and his lovely friends. But I have just received a FaceBook Wall post from my mum, telling me to update it, and I guess I need to get a few things off my boney chest.

Well the last week or so has been quite fun, I have taken the role as a tourist instead and it has enabled me to enjoy things much more easily, instead of thinking about work I have just been relaxing and exploring the different aspects of Hong Kong life. It makes sense that the people you know and the friends you make can really change a place for you. Lucky for me they came at the right time, just as I was planning my escape.

I had previously spoken about Tim the musician, and how much of a nice guy he is, or should I say was. I won’t go into details but alas friends no more. Good thing that I met some great, genuine people since. So I have been partying, Singing, and eating my way through Hong Kong, with the help of Wally, Mai and Claris and Co.

I am actually right now staying with Wally at his apartment, crashing in his brother’s bed, as he works in China during the week. It is so cozy here and we have a great time talking trash about Americas Next Top Model and testing our Spice Girls trivia! Yes you heard right.
The apartment is on the 37th floor of a high rise block surrounded by other high risers but still with a great view of an industrial harbor. It is a new town of estates and shopping malls, with construction around everywhere, but it’s filled with life and I feel that this side of Hong Kong is more of what I was searching for; cranes and scaffolding just do it for me! But it is quite lovely to see community life here on the estate, its not how I imagine an estate in the UK would be at all. You see everyone getting along just fine, kids playing together, oldies exercising and doing Tai Chi from morning and mothers gossiping as they dry their bed sheets in the sun.

It’s strange to think that in just one week I will be leaving for Tokyo, Japan. When I feel that im just getting into Hong Kong, but still I am excited, and still come next Wednesday I will be ready to leave. I’m hoping this last week will run smoothly, however I have had some problems with a job, a student fashion show. I have had a bit of a problem negotiating a price for me, as I am freelance here. I felt that I was being underpaid, so I have had to let them know, seems it has cause quite a drama.
But in the end I just want a fair price for the work involved. I had one fitting for the show which lasted over 5 hours! Which is insane, and also tomorrow I have a rehearsal 7pm-11pm and the following show day is a full day, 8am-10pm!!!! I’m sorry if I sound like a diva but this just makes no sense to me, even bigger shows I have done take less time. Are they so unorganized or overly organized? Has anyone done a student fashion show before?

Well in the end I have accepted a price, but I hope there is no negative vibes on the day, I did have a moment when I thought it’s not worth my trouble, and I should be treated as a professional. But however much I complain I can’t really let the students down as they have already altered the clothes to fit me. See I am nice.
But im not looking forward to it at all unfortunately, it started out ok, but since the power struggles start it has kind of turned sour. And im not looking forward to my ‘friend’ who suggested the job to me, and his opinionated friends all judging me; I don’t mind to be judged just not when it’s personal.

Well hopefully I will have some good friends there for moral support.

I will try and get back into blogging again, and hopefully discuss things more interesting than model politics. Ja ne xxx

Better

Today was a surprisingly pleasant day. Although I woke up to a dizzy hangover, I felt that the dramas of the night before and probably posting the previous installment gave me a chance to move on from the negative vibes I had been feeling.
I first met up with my friend Wally, he had just had his first job interview and was looking rather smart compared to my ripped shorts and nautical top half affair. He took me to a cute café which had views over Mongkok. I had an Iced white chocolate coffee with cheesecake, It was all oh so very yummy. I had a look through his folder of certificates and achievements that he had on him. Also many photos from the various school activities he had emerged himself into as a student; I was quite envious of the joy he seemed to have taken from his schooling days.
While we chatted, Tim called me, another friend that I had just recently met; he was also in Mongkok so we decided to meet up.

Tim arrived later at my place with his guitar on his back; I think I have never seen him without it. We all chatted a while and made plans for dinner later. Wally left for home and the two of us chilled out for a few hours. He was practicing the song ‘Imagine’ again and again, this guy never stops singing, but thankfully his voice is very sweet. I don’t think I have met somebody with such a musical talent (other than Alicia Keys of course) ha-ha maybe he is better? He plays mostly love songs and also writes his own. I hope he can get success with his music soon.

I don’t know what to write anymore, just I feel better and a bit closer to friends here. I should try and focus on looking for work now and also doing my drawings.

Its OK...

I have just worked my way thru a Sausage McMuffin with egg, at 6am in the morning. I had to search for 20 minuets for a place that was open; for all those people who say Hong Kong is so convenient, that is a lie. I mean compared to the UK maybe its so, but in Japan you just have to walk 5 Min's to find a place to satisfy your post drinking appetite,
After I had finished my McScoff meal I walked back to my home, a single leaf fell onto my shoulder from a tree that was planted along the sidewalk.
I couldn't believe some of the things that happen in Hong Kong, I thought I was quite open minded but tonight just confirmed to myself that I can never be part of this circus show.

There is just something so sleazy about it all, people seem so untrustworthy and narrow minded, There are strong opinions on how foreigners act, how gay people act, how straight people act etc, but if you don’t fit into a cliché then you are an outsider, you cant be accepted for being yourself. Maybe its the curse of gay scenes. I feel everyone has been brainwashed, even the foreigners that live here permanently. I don’t mean to keep comparing to life in Japan but it’s so obvious that many people here are so more closed off, and people usually consider the Japanese to be more conservative and controlled; but I am telling you that I have never experienced this level of suspicion and doubt purely based on the color of my skin.

I have come to the point now where I don’t care how radical my opinions on the gay world may seem. I am so tired of all the liars, game players and defeatists that make up the bulk of gay scenes around the world. When the single leaf fell on my shoulder I felt like someone understands me, I am very proud of the fact that I am very much in love with my ex boyfriend, why should I be ashamed of a feeling that is so natural to me? I don’t need to find another just for ‘fun’ or as a casual partner. Why? When I am still happy to be in love?
Now this might seem crazy to you, to think that someone can still hold on to these feelings after over 1 year of separation. But I wonder how many of you still hold feelings for that one, the one that changed your life? I believe it is OK to admit that, why hide it?

I think my honesty is quite rare here in Hong Kong, people do not know how to take me, it seems I am an unusual creature, why cant people see past the long hair and the skinny jeans? Do we need to strip ourselves of any individuality to fit into the preconceived ideas of ‘what a gay should be’? It actually sickens me when I come across such homophobic gay people. You could put it down to ‘cultural differences’ but in the end we all have a choice. I choose my self respect, I choose my heart, and it can be as simple as that. Where is the shame then?

I would rather eat 20 Sausage McMuffins and get fat to fill the void in my heart than go with a stranger so easily. Whoever thinks that of me then enjoy your shallow existence if it works for you, but please do not judge or victimize people that stand up for love.

To end this McRant, I would just like to say that I am happy with the path I am taking; maybe I have become more spiritual in the past year. I just would like to make a statement to show anyone reading this that it is OK to let another person affect you and shape the person you are. So thank you, to those special people that made me a better person: T.F , S.K, W.K and someone I believe is a real angel! I.B

Until next time, peace out!

Down

These last few days have not been so fun, I have not really felt like writing on my blog. I have met some really nice people that have been very welcoming. But also I have met some people who seem not to be so genuine, I seem to trust people too easily. I am only here for a short time so of course I want to make the most of being here, so I am trying to not stress myself out over these people. Hopefully this feeling will change.

I miss my friends in Japan allot and I'm really looking forward to getting back home, but that's a few weeks away.

Well I do have next week to look forward to as my old friend Chester will visit from Taiwan for 2 nights, we will go to Disney Land, as he is a huge fan!

Its going to be good to meet my close friend and hopefully cheer me up.