Whatever

It is a gloomy afternoon in Hong Kong. I have been ill the past few days, but finally feeling better. Still my energy is pretty low, but found enough last night to attend a little indie party with Mai, was fun to dance carelessly without the glares of gay boys. I only stayed a few hours but was nice to see a different scene here in Hong Kong.

You may be wondering how the fashion show went... well I can tell you that due to the rudeness of the people involved, I was... removed from the position! yes I was given the boot from the show! the first time in my modeling history. I was quite surprised to say the least, as they played a very fake game with me. Buttering me up for a cheap price. Even after standing up for myself and making it clear that the price was not high enough, they agreed and promised me an increase while also using guilt as a tool to lower the price of my requested wages. I was told the students had already altered the clothes to fit my body, so of course I would have done the show anyway. So all was fine, we had agreed on the price, and I was told again and again that she would try to get more for me. Well the day of the rehearsal I received a text message from the woman, basically saying that the budget cant accommodate me, so no need to take part. Not even a phone call!

I thought, you fucking bitch! haha I have never been treated with such disrespect at work. I wasn't too upset as I thought it was all a farcical to begin with but really, people can be so rude.
Even she was so pleasant to me on the phone leading up to this point, and then I heard from the guy that got me the job that she was so angry with me. So basically two faced cow. In the end I thought whatever, it could have been OK to take part, but its just one job and it wont effect anything, its just a student show in Hong Kong, hardly a fashion capitol.


I'm trying to think what good things I actually got from Hong Kong, a place that held so many good memories for me and my ex. Well it is all about the people in the end, and I have made some really good friends, as I keep saying. But I don't feel the connection like before, Those special times in the past are long over. Now I'm facing the reality of Hong Kong.

I will be in Tokyo from Wednesday, and I cant tell you how happy I will feel, to be back where I call home. I just want to settle down there now, I feel I'm ready for that but I know it will take some time. I need to think long term, how can I stay there realistically for years on end. Time to get serious and make those steps to achieve this goal.